Curse This Body
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Obsolete |
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"Curse this body" is a phrase -- or more appropriately, an exclamation -- for use in the most frustrating of situations, particularly those caused by the constraints of your physical design. Especially those that are caused by your being fat and stupid.
Proper Execution
The correct stance for one's cursed body varies depending on the severity of the situation prompting your ejaculation. In most casual instances it suffices to extend your arms upward, reaching toward the sky. In the most severe cases, follow the following checklist for appropriate body-cursing:
- Fall on your knees.
- With clenched fists, grab at the collar of your shirt.
- While tugging downward, prepare to yell. Bonus cursing points are awarded here for causing damage to one's garments.
- ????
- CURSE THIS BODYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
- This does not need to be yelled at the top of one's lungs, as a cracking voice would then require iteration and possibility an infinite number of body-curses. However, blind people in the vicinity do need to be appropriately aware of your anguish at being trapped in your mortal coil.
Note that the demand for one's body to be cursed is always directed at the sky, or the ceiling if one is indoors.
Appropriate situations in which to curse your body:
- Dropping a pencil
- Failing an 8.01 Exam
- Having sex with either or both of your parents
- Being fat and stupid
- Missing the T
- Waiting two hours to get a Blackjack
