Nice Things

There are two kinds of nice things. The kind we can have, and the kind we can't. Almost invariably, we can't have nice things.

Remember that time you were playing a game of soccer inside and you kicked it the wrong way and then your mother was crying over a broken vase and your father was glowering and getting ready to administer a beating and it was the best birthday ever?

Well, you're why you can't have nice things.

Nice Things We Can Have

• Wii
• Roomba ?
• Hall Pets
• A Hall Wiki
• New Gamecube Controllers! (12/16/07)
• Gigabit switch
• Algernon (the projector)
• Your Mom!

Nice Things We Can't Have

• Shiny Cookware
  • Sure, we could buy them, but would they be burned into submission, or run away first?
• Vacuum Cleaners
  • We spend so much money on them! Why do they keep breaking?!
  • I mean, srsly, the only thing that sucks more than the vacuums is our ability to operate them!
  • C'mon now, you're a fucking engineer.
    • Suggestion: We either do not acquire any new vacuums, or we get one that's able to endure the ass-fucking someone's inevitably going to give it.
• Segway
• Friction tape under the coffee table.
• Comfortable couches
• XBox
• Gamecube controllers
  • Go easy on the poor B buttons.
• Chalk
• Other broken things
• Innocence